Friendships Start With Awkward Talks

Friendships Start With Awkward Talks

27 And as he talked with him, he went in and found many persons gathered. 28 And he said to them, “You yourselves know how unlawful it is for a Jew to associate with or to visit anyone of another nation, but God has shown me that I should not call any person common or unclean. 29 So when I was sent for, I came without objection. I ask then why you sent for me.”

30 And Cornelius said, “Four days ago, about this hour, I was praying in my house at the ninth hour,[a] and behold, a man stood before me in bright clothing 31 and said, ‘Cornelius, your prayer has been heard and your alms have been remembered before God. 32 Send therefore to Joppa and ask for Simon who is called Peter. He is lodging in the house of Simon, a tanner, by the sea.’ 33 So I sent for you at once, and you have been kind enough to come. Now therefore we are all here in the presence of God to hear all that you have been commanded by the Lord.”

Acts 10:27-33 (ESV)

Skip the small talk…

Peter gets right to an awkward start. “I shouldn’t even be here,” he tells them. What a way to start a conversation! Yet Peter honored Cornelius by coming all the way from Joppa to see him. Cornelius honored Peter in turn by bowing low before him. Peter’s response is like, “Woah! Wait a minute. Get up, I’m just a man! This is awkward.” They did just as Paul would later write, in honor giving preference to one another (Romans 12:10). I posted on social media this week: Surround yourself with leaders who make you grow and stretch; not bow and fetch. Peter Isn’t making Cornelius bow and Cornelius isn’t forcing Paul to visit. Cornelius doesn’t expect Peter to bow to him either. This is a picture of God growing and stretching two new friends and increasing their comfort zones.

John Stott said, “Peter refused both to be treated by Cornelius as if he were a god, and to treat Cornelius as if he were a dog.”

One way we can connect deeper is to skip the small talk and get right to the big talk. That’s pretty much what Peter and Cornelius do.

The other night we were out with friends and I asked the table as we were small talking, “what do you want to do before you die?” That gave everyone pause. Their answers were personal and deep. I want my marriage to be stronger; to have deep friendships that I’ve not had in my life time. I want my friend to come to know Christ before I die… The reality is we struggle getting past small talk because our insides don’t always match our outside. Big friendship start with awkward talks. Try it with someone this week.